In My Silence

I've been looking for you, you who I've been staring at the mirror

But every time I think I'm close you only seem more distant than nearer

I've been searching for a way, a way to understand the man but he seems lost forever

And the reflection seems to blur through the distance because I'm somewhere in there and no where altogether

I see so many faces and I wonder which one is the man looking back at me

Am I just the fragments of the imagination of others or is there more man in me.

Is there more to the eyes that stare back at me?, Is there the promise I believe and feel in me?

 There's promise somewhere between those blurry lines the picture is just forming and so far it's  been a  survivors disguise.

 All I have is a hint and I'm still riddling out the riddle of me 

Sadly the only thing I can make out of these pieces is that its not really me

What does he fear? Why don't he reveal himself to me? Why all these trials and why so much of mystery?

Somedays he feels like me and most days like a stranger

He builds himself up and in a second and the next instant destroys himself like an invader

Constantly looking and searching for how I truly should feel, while everything feels like a mistake and at the same time who I should be

I've been you through the moody Mondays and the distracting escapades

I've been you through the constructive hard days and the destructive mad days

I've been you through the pains and the gains

I'be been you when you were promising and when you failed

But nothing of what I am feels like its close to who I truly could be 

And at the same time I have never felt so intimately close too this version of me and I have never felt more stranger than the stranger still hiding in me

The man behind the dreams and the puppet who's still held down by invisible  strings

The man searching for his wings while the winds so turbulently kick him off his heels

I am all of these and much more than what you can see cause the real me is yet to be revealed

Been trying to understand you but I guess I'll never figure you out 

Cause you're so rare and unique, the one like no one around

So when the journey gets lone and tiresome 

I just close my eyes and lose myself in my silence 

Where unfelt words lighten up

Sparking emotions that blows through me like a gentle breeze

And in the dead center of that silence 

I become the miracle I'm always meant to be

Suddenly I recognize the man in the mirror

While I drift away in my silence keeping this secret hidden in me forever