The Truth

Why am I here I keep asking?
What is it like to truly live I keep pondering?
Trapped in a head filled with so much imagination.
Thinking if these are the ways to live
With so much hesitation
I slide through life hoping I’ll get a chance to live it fully 
One exhilarating exploration exploding out of me
With many surprises beyond my anticipation and imagination
But I've faced many trials that has put me in an unsettling disposition
Because life is a complete mystery 
And I swing between happiness and utter confusion 
I stay stuck between this dance of it's highs and lows
Inspite of all the work that I've put in
I have been hit back with all the resistance and remorse
While I started this journey with only one mission 
And that mission in mind is towards excellence 
I’m tired of fighting and my energy is drained 
Drained out of my existence and efforts are going in vain
Still not willing to give up nor give in
Still willingly able to get back up and fight it till the end
But I’m at the end of my patience 
And I wish I'd strike some luck
Before this life fucks me up

There was a time long back when magic happened out off habit
Life flowed and glowed
Pulling rabbits out of hats metaphorically happened            
But somehow life hit me with a lightning bolt 
Stole the rabbit and the hat and the magic from my hold
With my mojo stolen I roamed about like a hobo 
Hoping for a miracle to save me from my sorrows
Cause I felt destroyed and betrayed 
Hurt and lost without my magic it was pure dismay
Looking for the spark in every single branch in every todays and tomorrows 
And nobody could help me cause this was not something I could borrow
Because your magic is your magic 
Without it you cannot create and this was my sorrow
This is life it has it’s ways, sometimes your up or fading away
Sometimes it does not give a fuck 
Even if you have been riding through life’s tests
Sometimes you got to fall to such an extend 
That getting back up seems scary or too tedious in your head
Only the strongest of the strongest are given these test so they come to realize                                          That they religiously blew it up looking through the ego’s eyes
While the magic hid deep within them even if they could not see it in their minds
Realizing this was the mystery life was teaching me
To see through my soul as I'm more than I've imagined me to be 

This is life, sometimes it’s green and sometimes it’s red 
Sometimes your on the highway instead
It gives you everything and then takes it away 
So that you learn the value of you from all the materials and the hate
So that you learn, you are the magic itself 
And learning to believe in you through all these tests
The picture might not be clear but always keep the faith
Because after one devastating fall all you'll have is your faith
A faith directed to thy own self
The only person who can set you free from your life's test
In you, you should believe to the very end
As the answers are embedded in your very head
The truth be told it is sort of a revealing 
The grandness of the creator is in you 
So don't stop beliveing 
All the riches are buried in your soul 
Only if you could see this can you see the truth that life holds.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

Father

Sad, a sadness, fill, filling in me. 
Thought you would always be here
And be my strength and fight life along side me
But I guess nothing lasts until eternity
And now I feel the nothingness pouring inside me
And the emptiness of a life without you next to me
Look, I'm looking for you

But you are no where around me

Feeling heavy like the truth is about to hit me

What I thought was not possible became my reality

Now your in a whole other realm

Where you can't take me 

Is this how it was supposed to be 

Why did it end so fast?

Why did you make it hard?

I keep feeling sorry for all the shit that I have done

And your not here for me to ask 

Forgiveness for so many things

And I still can't accept you left and went flying away with your wings

Why didn't you call I was waiting

Hoping we'll talk and mend those bruises

And hold each other up until the pain starts losing

Healing together hoping for a new begening 

Where are you? Do you see me from where you are

Do come and pay a visit here and then 

Cause I miss you with all my heart

Throw me a sign on a hard day 

Whisper in my ears when I'm in dismay

Let the breeze come blowing 

So I feel your hand on my shoulder

Let me know that even when your gone

You will make me strong and bolder

Hold my hand through tough times

Protect me from my enemies  

Who's coming to stab me from my blind side

Show me a sign that your at my corner

And I'll fight through this life and I will not squander

I'll push through my limits and rise for your honour

With a fierceness no one can ever conquer

I promise that I won't let my mind be weak

You should know

I'll give anything to see you one last time

Maybe this is my punishment 

For giving up on you and leaving without saying a goodbye

So I want you to know 

If you'll believe 

It took a whole lot of time to understand

That under all the anger and the pain

I always admired and loved you 

But the words wouldn't come out from me

I know it sounds insane 

But I guess we were all in pain

I hope to make you proud 

So you feel very alive in your spirit

And hope that even death can't separate 

A son from his father 

As some bonds are stronger than the Gods in the heavens

In Between Moments

Been staring at these blank pages wondering what to write

Been struggling to put some words in and arrange it such that it sounds wise

Lately I've got nothing, am just drifting, waiting for the chips to fall in line

During these in between moments I've got nothing to say and write

I've just got things to do and watch destiny unfold my life

What do champions do, I wonder, what goes through their mind

How do they handle these moments that makes them wait for a while

While waiting itself is not what they want and waiting they can't tolerate inside

And their body feels like moving when staying still would be wise

Is there a right thing to do when your whole being can't stay still?

I wonder if it is a test or just time taking a piss

To mess up the momentum you have built

Every new year is a reality check, it's terrifying to realise another year has gone and put to rest

Cause it makes me wonder of life and the journey taken

That  journey that has never found its destination

And the negative thoughts come flooding back into my mind

Another year to start things over, will this be the year I ask my mind?

Or will it be just another year that goes by.

Been chasing this dream for quiet sometime

Somehow it feels like the moment has arrived 

And I am nervous more than I can realise

What would have great men felt in these moments

What would be the thoughts that ran through their mind

I wonder what would they have focused in these in between moments

How do they turn the sober situations over and come out roaring

Turning every moment to their advantage soaring high

These in between moments they mean a lot

They are important more than all the moments you have fought

Cause there is no bigger addiction than winning in this life

So every moment is a step you take towards that moment to be surprised 

And these in between moments are the hardest to survive

Cause in these moments everything is beyond your control

And your left behind impatiently waiting for the story to unfold

Will it set me free? Will it turn out all right? 

Will it take me to the heavens and too unthinkable heights?

Can I stand tall?, Can I breath my first and be super fine?

Cause I've holding my breath for quiet sometime

I have seen many moments that have taken me close

Have overcome many disappoints more than you know

Have had the almost, Oh God, I almost had it moments

Hence these in between moments are not pleasant to be honest

It makes be nervous just out of habit

I must stay still or I might ruin it

I wonder what a warrior does in these moments

Got to teach myself to stay calm and live in the moment

With shields and spears and sword in hand

I wonder what happens in him when the bells of battle rang

Is he calm and quiet to march into the unknown?

When dead itself is waiting for him and the odds unknown

These in between moments always finds the worst of me

I hope this year I would conquer it cause I've been dancing with it 

And it already feels like an eternity to me

 So I walk into this year wondering where I'll be

Will I finally make it and will I be set free

For I yearn to rise from the depths that I've fallen

And finally give the closure to all these in between moments

Letters To My Sister - (Part 2)

 

Life is not going to have any surprises until you live like it's going to surprise you, most people live like it is going to disappoint them and so they don't believe in themselves enough, to take a risk on their dreams. They settle for a practical life, a life of uninspiring sacrifices and while they die slowly on the inside so does their dreams. Have you ever wondered what life is? Have you ever wondered why you are here. What is the point of all this if we are going to die one day? Why do anything at all and just be? Why do we follow traditions and customs? And why try to fit in all the things in that small space calling it a life? What does, me being your brother really mean? Why me? What role do I play in your life? What am I meant to really do? But yet we share this special bond, an unexplainable bond, and sometimes I think you will be the only person that makes me feel like I'm not alone on this crazy planet. And no matter how I turn out to be, you would be the only one to see me as I truly am. Having this thought feels very encouraging, having you as my sibling and knowing you will always have my back makes me brave, it gives me comfort in so many levels. Even though we are so far away, and we hardly meet or call, I know deep inside me, if I fall you would catch me. 

Maybe a sibling is a guardian angel, who are physically present through our life on this planet. A mirror that constantly remind us, who we truly are. A voice that comforts, a hand that supports and mainly a guide who shows us our roots when we stray too far into the burning sun. Maybe this is what I'm meant to be for you, someone who'd have your back even when your own back has turned against itself. Someone who lifts you out of your rut, and teaches you how to get out of it. Someone who smiles and celebrates your victories, someone who challenges you and inspires you to be your best version. Someone who tells you to always follow your dreams and take all the chances you have in this life. I wonder if I am even close to these things. Life has seasons just like the planet. There is a season where you are a child, a season where you have transformed to a woman, a season when you become a mother and a season where you grow old. But unlike the planet we face seasons in different ways, the one I explained is what our body's experience. Our mind to faces different seasons and we experience life also collectively through different seasons. Times when it feels cold and bitter and everything feels like heartache, seasons where you feel the Gods sitting in the heavens are testing you. And seasons where life seems to be sailing smoothly.

These seasons are important, it is through these seasons you discover who you truly are on the inside. And be brave, to be this person no matter how the world reacts. The world and all its people are put there to either test you or encourage you, you need the haters so they keep you on your toes, so that you keep growing. You need your supporters so that they keep cheering you when you're fighting these battles in life. Always be yourself, you were intended and created by a divine force to be the way that you are. Know this person and love this person before you let anyone else love her. And be unapologetically brave to be this person, without needing to change anything for someone else's happiness. It's sounds so simple but in reality it is a hard thing to do and if you choose to be this version of yourself, the truest version of who you truly are then you will never feel alone or feel lack in any way. Love being yourself, this is what makes the experience of life magical. And no matter the season, if you can manage to be yourself with a beautiful dream that you pursue relentlessly, life will be full of surprises. Be the person in the room who constantly grows, someone who quietly grows through the seasons of her life. Remember real growth always happens quietly and it is only destruction that makes all the noise.

Life is too short to carry burdens, unburden yourself, take responsibility only for yourself and hold others to theirs. Let go of the ways and thoughts that no longer work for you, become more and more aware that each day is truly a gift. Though the road ahead might seem long and weary teach yourself to live in the moment and enjoy the journey you have taken. When you have achieved something, dream of something bigger, if it doesn't scare you it isn't big enough. Don't wait for the odds to be in your favour, just act, move and let the world know you are on your way. When life gets overwhelming on a Monday morning and it seems like you are handling too much to bear, relax, take a break and then start over the next day. Drink coffee watching the sunrise, go take a swim at the beach, take long walks, go on drives playing your favourite songs and sing them out loud while you wait at the red light. Dance while you cook, let your daughter watch you, let her watch her mother, let her watch a woman and show her what it is to be a woman by being that woman. Have some wine on a Friday night and look at the stars in the skies and know this, that I too would be sitting on the other side of the planet with a beer in my hand holding it up to the skies knowing that life is turning out better than we have expected. Celebrate like there's no tomorrow and no matter where our paths take us, live not to impress, but live to have powerful moments just to experience it. Stay humble, stay kind and live life like it really matters, live like you're part of a chance this world badly needs. 

An Idea

 

You're just an idea evolving, flowing through time slowly dissolving.

The idea of you evolves and your body you have dissolves.

Death's sweet kiss takes your body away and the only thing left behind is this idea

you tried to live and it is a story you lived to say.

There is a quiet yearning to become the best version of your self and that's worth earning.

Challenges are there and no champion is born who is ignorant to his calling.

The process of evolving is not easy and its tormenting.

But if you go with the flow and you focus to only grow.

Fighting through the pain, soaring through the dark phase.

Searching for the light, hoping you're going to shine bright.

Not reacting to the all the bullshit that kept you down in a space you just couldn't fit.

Rising above those traps freeing your soul to soar to such blinding heights.

I know it could get scary sometimes, when all you got is an unwavering faith.

And nobody believes in you and makes you feel foolish while you're drowning in their hate.

But you keep flying into the unknown, not knowing what to expect.

With only a gut feeling that whispers to your soul of an idea that's haunts you to death.

This idea of what you are and who you should become before you rest.

But most don't heed to this calling and falls prey to the fear that is always controlling.

The fear is paralysing, too stray from the herd, to become this idea that no ones heard.

That's what separates the legends from the sheep.

The one that dares even in their sleep.

The quiet soul who follows none and dares himself to walk the paths where others run .

The darkness a friend a familiar territory, he's conquered his demons that eats away his glory.

This quest he's put himself is just a choice.

He seeks no prize and no glory, he's just in for the adventure curious how far he can push his boundaries.

The idea of such a man is what legends speak of.

They come and go over time inspiring the herd to stray from their defeating beliefs.

To stray from the limiting self that seeks to be free.

Explore your limits beyond imagination itself could see.

There is a legend in us all, waiting to be set free.

Why wait for another life, when you can change today even if you think you're too old.

The idea of you can begin today if you just let go. 

An idea of such sorts that's never existed until you had to live it for it to be told.

This awakening is what all men and women seek.

An idea of oneself that will last forever even after the body decays and the soul rests in peace.

To be that someone who came and inspired others who were asleep.

An idea that was given for others to also discover the endless possibility in them waiting to be released.

A Thousand Pieces

Thousand pieces lay on the floor
Each piece was meant to fit onto another

A thousand-piece puzzle was about to be uncovered
I wonder what the final image is
The suspense held behind each piece was hard to dismiss
I looked at the game boards cover
No clues, no image, all left out to the player 
To figure out and discover

 
A thousand pieces lay on the floor
A thousand pieces of me all broken and waiting to be restored
I do not know how I have lost my faith
All I remember was falling through a haze
I thought that I could figure out this maze
But somewhere between those dark alleys
I got lost and what I lost I cannot describe nor explain
 
A thousand pieces lay on the floor
Where do I start this puzzle?

How do I start to explore?
In which way should I begin 
With no clue in mind everything seemed like randoms digits 

With no equation to decipher the final image
Those thousand pieces seemed like a puzzle within a puzzle
But through those challenges I begun

And slowly and steadily piece by piece I connected them one by one
 
A thousand pieces lay on the floor
I thought I knew who I was, but I misunderstood him a long time ago
Now he exists in pieces looking for himself
Trying to figure out who he’s truly destined through these tests
He’s shedding his fear and the control
He’s believing in himself
Taking back his power that he once let go
He is understanding now he was looking at himself the wrong way
The thousand pieces of him he’s re-constructing in its truest way
 
A thousand pieces of the puzzle now reduced
I’ve managed to assemble them in groups
The picture is vague but looks promising
Looks like an angel
Think he’s looking over a fountain
The mystery of the final image began to unfold
Now the ease to match the pieces started to take hold
What took a lot of time in the beginning to figure out
Began to become easy as more pieces found its spot
 
A half formed new self of me roam around
Still looking at the balance of the pieces that needs figuring out
I’m building each part of me stronger than ever before
This time no kryptonite will take me down to the floor
Nor will any clown that try to break my spirit
I’m building myself such that I’m unbreakable to any limit
My heart’s in the right place leading me high
The pain is motivating me, bringing me back to life
A new imagine of me is forming
And to these changes I’m reforming
 
A few pieces remaining of the thousand 

So close to completion and left with no confusion
The mystery behind the final image has found it's solution
The thousand-piece journey has nearly been travelled
The angel hovers above the fountain
Trumpets are sounding from the mountains
A ray of light from the skies all magically fitting within those thousand different lies
And with this one last piece I’ve completed the puzzle 

Now a thousand pieces reveal together, what they couldn't individually, but was destined to uncover
 
I guess every piece of you should fall in its right place
How else would you know the true you behind the veil?
While you’re building yourself you are blind
Your filled with self-doubt and live in fear or flight
But slowly through this chaos, what we call life
You must start believing in yourself and you must put the pieces of you right
That day you will see the miracle of you that was hiding behind plain sight
A being so graceful that was trapped somewhere in the idea you thought of you was right
And suddenly now it is so different because you began to see your truest version 
 
From a thousand pieces I have become one
And I’m still just a small piece under the sun
The sun itself is a dot in the cosmic mind
I wonder who sees the grand picture of us all from above the galactic skies
Is he also putting together a thousand pieced puzzle?
I wonder what the final image he is working to

I wonder if he's aware of the picture he is assembling for me and you
Am I just a piece in his puzzle? While I'm living through all this hustle and bustle
While I sit here putting my pieces right building my life
I wonder what my piece does in his puzzle, what plans he has for my life
 
A thousand pieces lay on the floor
Each piece has a promise and he knows what needs to unfold
Some where he’s going to fit you in this life
Some where he’s destined you to shine his light
Nobody can comprehend these cosmic schemes
But that one piece you are out of a thousand
Has a story as powerful as can be
And one day when everything fits right
You’re going to be that one piece that brings meaning to a thousand lives

Only You

I didn't know she was a thief,

I didn't know she came to steal

It didn't seem she was like them types

Who'd come to play games and spend the nights

Too much of her has been broken 

She's lost her faith and now she's in ruins

Too much of her has been taken

She always stares at herself in the mirror wondering why she's always mistaken

She carries the brokenness from her past 

All men she hates quietly in her heart 

Her beauty has become her curse, as after her body all men thirst

Her heart turned cold and then to stone

Losing faith in man she took matters into her hand

Her hate fueled her revenge and out for her honor she avenged

She used her curse as her strength and broke the pride of many men

She had them dancing around her in circles

While she took what she lost and broke them until they were cornered

Drunk in her newfound power she thought she had won

Only to find she was alone in the world still wanting to be loved

What plans, the universal mind makes no one knows

But beauty is all what you can see everywhere around in the cosmos

She too was such a plan, while she roamed unknowingly with her troubles in her hand

Her destiny was such that she would be sent to scheme on a kind young man

While she tried to break him, nothing seemed to work on him like the other lads

There was something about his eyes, he was kind and very wise

He always stayed calm and composed and accepted her troubles as his own

He tamed the wild emotions in her which she couldn't control

Something about him was so mysterious, and everything about him made her curious

He just seemed to see her as she once was and gave her the respect she had lost

And without asking he healed her heart, quietly and silently he nursed her troubled heart

The hate that plagued her heart was silenced

There was peace and calm and no sign of violence

She stared at the mirror with disbelief as a smiled cracked on her face for only love she could feel

Life is like this she thought to herself for only you were meant to be mine and no one else

Only you could change the brokenness in me, only you could see the beauty in me

The once cursed heart was now blessed with a blissful feeling 

And like all stories her life began to have meaning

There's only you and you alone for me

Without you there's no place called home for me

Only you make me feel like it's ok to be me

Because only you need me as me

You taught me that I'm enough, as I am

Your contentment makes me full of happiness when I'm sad

You exposed the truth and set me free 

Just when I felt like I should give up you gave hope to me

All the hurt and the pain of my past makes sense

Only now do I see the value of who I am from the values you gave me instead

You made me whole as whole as I can be

Only you made me, see me, for what I am and could be

The Man In The Mirror

I feel different now a days, I'm no longer interested in the things I once loved. Feels like a new persona is emerging from my core and I'm in the, in between stage, stranded trying to figure out how life is going to unfold in the coming days. There was a time in my life I couldn't imagine being sober, there was always the need to be using something or the other to keep the excitement of living alive in me. But the poison I kept consuming began its damage and now I can barely think of using anything again. I used to absolutely love watching movies and TV shows, never missed a new movie and I'd always see it on the first show. There were weekends I spend just watching movies, 4 shows. But nothing interests me now but solitude and silence, I used to hate spending time in my room and hence I was always out but now I just want to stay home. No longer hanging out with friends and spending late nights at clubs, but now sitting on my sofa wondering how am I going to fill all this time up now. I always found time to do something or the other, but now I just want to sit and be still. And If I break and go back to my old self I get sick to my stomach. All these years I have been falling into myself just falling, falling and falling, I see so many changes that has happened over the years. And now the falling seems to be slowing down now a days, and a new feeling that I a floating or levitating is surging and filling in me. I no longer find the need to chase after life and everything seems to find me. Suddenly when I lost all the fear of this feeling of falling I began somehow to fly. The winds of change has swept through me and I beginning to feel like myself after a very, very long time. 

I have always wondered, what is the story of my life? What am I trying to portray by living in my life. This introspection has deepened lately and I beginning to feel like I have reached the future of what my former self had planned, thought or dreamed. All of a sudden I feel so good and my mojo is back, but this time I am not my old self, but a completely new person seems to be emerging. Someone who feels more real to me, a version of myself that's closer to the authentic self I keep feeling in me. I feel so free I know I can literally do anything I want in life and a reassuring emotion overwhelms me, telling me all good things will happen at the right time. I feel relieved from the endless search I was on and now feel it is over and all the answers are going to come to me. I'm in so much peace, I feel light like the warm gently summer breeze. I feel the story of my life is just going to begin. Feels like I've fought all the battles and the war is coming to an end, the calmness I get of that feeling, that I can finally let my guard down now and sit under a tree and just breathe and be free overwhelms me. I feel reassured of my future with so much hope that no mater what is thrown at me, victory is the way it's going to be for me, no matter the odds I have to face. Over dosed in my confidence I feel so relieved and the calmness is filling inside me, putting me at ease. The scars are evident of the experiences I have accumulated over the years that have shaped me and this new person emerging at this moment seems like a truer version of me, someone more authentic and closer to the feeling of me. Someone more rounded and grounded, humble and unshaken. Someone who was a dream in my past not knowing that he was the real me.

When you come from a past that was blindingly dark with the slightest hint nor shimmer of hope, there is no other way than to buckle under its pressure and explode. And when you explode you have a choice, a choice to fall to the the demons that preyed on you, the demons that owned you and mimicked  its ways through you. Chaining you to be the victim helpless and used as a puppet for their own design. Or you rebel and fight those demons until you re-emerge out of it victoriously, having the enemies and the demons by the balls. Like a true man, who shines his light opposing the darkness that consumed him and being the beacon of hope for the generations after him. When the generation before you have failed and took and took and took from you, draining you out of every inch of life in you, you have no other choice than to fight and fight you must for your own right, cause now it has become your fight. Never look up to them as they will shamelessly go to their deaths as the ones that took away everything. Maybe this is nature's own conception so the generation after them will rise. For rise I will to my dying breath, I will fight until I shine so much light the past itself will shine bright. This is how real men are born the ones that stew in the wrath, hate and greed of their elders and thrown to the world to survive. The ones that has rolled in the dirt , fought when no strength was left, the ones that have no other option than to rebel and rebel with his own self until he brings the light home. The ones that are outcast and the ones that exiled their own-selves fighting their demons and figuring their way against the odds thrown at them. This is how real men are born, those who boil under the idea that he can make it or die trying.  

The man in the mirror is beginning to take that shape, I don't know what the future has for me but I know what I must do. Quietly and silently in the backgrounds I will grow. We are all in our journey of life, we are all telling the story of our lives. What is the story you are telling? I'm not asking you to move mountains but at least fight to become the best version of yourself and that by itself would have been the greatest gift you can give to anyone and yourself. I keep looking back at the evolution of myself and each time I look at the mirror I am beginning to realize I'm witnessing the transformation of a boy to a man. And I keep asking the man in the mirror, Who are you? What is your story? It is a long hard way ahead but it is ok, for this is how real men are made, and if your are still wondering how? It is the hard way alone on that highway. It is through the fires of judgment, disappointment and failure, it is through the  coldness of rejection, self-doubt and uncertainty. This is how real men are born, the ones that don't know to quit. The ones that fight for the greater good. And when I am on my death bed moments away from my death I want to look back at my life and feel awesome, I want to feel like I truly lived in all ways imaginable and finally die for a cause as well. For when, I leave this planet I want to leave shining so much light inspiring the future generations and riding a dragon roaring into the heavens.

Her Name Is Freedom

The weekend is here but for me everyday is beginning to feel like the weekend, because I have her beside me. They tried to keep me from her, but she and I we are like magnets always attracted to each other. To feel her in me I'd walk any distance and fight any battle, climb any mountain and swim any ocean as she is my wings and my armor. Knowing she's always with me is my power, adventure is her middle name she brings excitement to every hour. While I'm stuck in mundane routines necessary for my survival she pays a visit to remind me to pursue what I desire. She was once a myth I used to imagine in my mind, hoping some day destiny would play cupid to intertwine her into my life. She seemed so distant, so far away impossible to reach, I felt she was kept away by the people around me and this mystery just deepened in me. History too is proof of this fact, greedy Monarchs have enslaved countries forbidding millions of people of their rights to her in their own lands. Millions have fought for her and have been declared radicals of society, terrorists, in her name civil wars have been fought and many souls have died, massacred and butchered so that the masses are kept away from the powers of her influence. She's the one every living craves for, not just men but the flora and the fauna too. She is the true nature of us all, we are all meant to be one with her. Restricting her was an efficient way to enslave man, but the enslaving wasn't just physical but also of the mind. 

Some of us are trapped in a way we need to physically fight or retaliate in order to get to her. This is the first way you notice and take back your power, but then she's deeper than you think cause the final battle will be with ones own mind to understand what she can truly offer. Once the body is physically free to be with her, one begins to feel that they are finally free, but then if you just free the body you can only do things to please the senses, that satisfies only the body, and once the body is satisfied to its fullest, you begin to understand that you are not completely fulfilled yet, you once again begin your search for her. This is where the true journey starts. A bird is happier when its free to fly high in the sky where ever it desires, but setting it free after years of being prisoned in a cage, it might not even know it could fly away into the horizon, because it had forgotten the extend to which it is free to explore the horizon. What does it truly mean to be free for you? You will see the more you define it, the deeper you will understand her. 

I believe it is a journey you have to take, the mission being to free yourself in every way imaginable. For me the meaning has completely changed, I was stuck in a job that drained me out in every aspect possible. I was stuck in cycles of fear to meet unrealistic dead lines, the more I achieved them the more work was dumped on me. Felt like a 24/7 job, for what I wondered, all this effort for a few bucks? That robbed me of my life. And the only way to be fulfilled in this kind of a lifestyle was to buy stuff, drink, party like its still the seventies and go to fancy places for amusement, All this so I'd be able to handle a job, all this to destress so I could stress myself all over again. I'm not saying the activities wasn't fun, Oh boy I had a ball of a time for a while. But soon it did not make me feel like I was truly alive, I felt like a hamster running on a wheel and then I got to thinking, how long am I going to keep doing this to myself. Trust me after you have done it all, all what the body would experience as thrilling and exciting in every imaginable way you will begin to feel bored in the long run and exhausted of all the things you have to do just to be happy. This is when I started paying attention, right when the health problems started showing up. This is when I truly started my romance with her cause I wanted to be free from it all.

I had everything but I felt like a prisoner of my own habits that brewed unhappiness, stuck in an illusionary prison not knowing I could be completely free from it, I have experienced a lot of things in this time of my life but I never felt so trapped ever before in my life. Because my security was dependent on my job and the money I earned from it, my self esteem was dependent on how people perceived me or the way I thought people should perceive me, I was dreadful of failure, I was controlling everything so things went my way, I was way to loyal to my work which I did not like in the first place, I pleased people just to fit in, I constantly worried about the future or worried how things went wrong in the passed and missed the moment completely, I procrastinated, I let my fears take control and never did I try to acknowledge them, I began to understand I had to be free from all this. That is when I answered the question, what does freedom mean to me? And what should I expect out of it in my life? The answer to this question is an ever evolving process cause each year I just want to be more and more free. People, what will you do without freedom? I am talking about absolute freedom, the kind of state, everything you do in your life keeps freeing you. I am learning to be free now a days, I'm not even bothered about the negative emotions that arise in me, I just exist at the moment for just who I am now. Yes I chase big dreams but no, I don't want them to happen in order for me to be happy or make my life complete. In order to reach this place you got to be very honest with your self.  Your freedom begins only the moment when you decide to take your freedom back in all aspects of your life, in however way you wish to be free.

Her name is freedom and I flirt dangerously with her, as I love her for what she is and how she has changed my life. The more free you are from your spirit or soul, more wonders you will accomplish. When your completely free to express your self from your soul, your expression and reaction to life will be very creative, and when your engrossed in a creative process the whole experience itself is liberating and an unimaginable enjoyable process and experience. You become light, yes light, like the light that shines and also the kind of light like being less heavy because you have chosen to unburden yourself and embrace the light making you feel lighter. The more you dive into the process of freeing yourself from the unnecessary burdens you carry, you set those parts of yourself free to explore its freedom, your life will change in no time and effortlessly with such ease. Don't you just feel free by reading this, Well that is the effect she has on you, a strange sort of hypnosis that gives you wings, a mesmerising kind of magic that radiates through her diamond shaped eyes and a very intoxicating vibe she instills to the soul in her whispers, her name is Freedom. Be free my friend, be free as the winds and let it carry you to the heights you thought you couldn't reach. When you free yourself from your own limitations and negative programming, and allow it to open up parts of your self that was restricted to growth, begins to expand in ways you could never have thought it was possible. You uncover hidden potential that was waiting to be discovered. You undo the tyranny of people around you and also the restrictive or destructive patterns in your own-self, you free yourself from the environment and get yourself out of your own way. What a feeling would that be like?, Can you imagine it? Have you ever thought about it? And if you have questions on what you must do, and if you're clueless, don't worry she will whisper it to you.

All the answers are in you, if only you welcomed her with open arms to come and unveil the blindfolds of your negative self beliefs and free you from your own self critical patterns and fears and propel you to explore your confidence with unbiased freedom. If you allowed this, imagine how your life would be, how would you feel? And need I say how wonderful your life will turn out. You're a powerful being, way beyond your reckoning, you no longer need to be that bird in that cage. You can fly to any extend towards the horizon and dare to fly further if you wish. Be so free that every day feels like the weekend where the fun never ends and the smile never fades. 

The Hero Within

Nobody is coming to save you, nobody but you. The moment you realise the importance of yourself, that moment when you look in the mirror and in your mind you say to yourself that you're going to be there for yourself, is a very powerful moment, cause in that moment you have decided that you have your own back without depending on any other. In that moment you have decided to take complete responsibility for yourself, to get you, to the place you truly wish to be in life. Not all moments are bursting with joy and happiness, peace and calm. It's a thunder storm sometimes and emotions rise up like giant waves and you go crashing through life. Sometimes the sun is up and the waters are calm and you're in your element cruising through life effortlessly. Sometimes the sun gets too hot and your stranded in a barren period in your life where you feel stuck, feeling sunk in despair and your motivation at the lowest. Sometimes life is grey with no colour and excitement and you're drifting through life in a routine that doesn't inspire. Life is such a mixture of events making you feel in a certain way at different point in life and even at different times in a day. How long are you going to let the environment control you? How long are you going to let your life be taken away in chucks not even knowing that you could have had a different life altogether. Remember, you are a promise that needs to be kept, to no one but you. And there is no way you will reach that point where you look in the mirror and tell yourself that, yes, this is it, I'm going to find my own way and be my own man. Until, this happens naturally, and it happens naturally to a few who have experienced dire disappoints, failure, pain, rejection or even a life threatening illness. For the rest maybe you are already living the grand life, but, what about the ones that are just drifting through life thinking and believing in their mediocrity. To them I say you ought to make a very conscious decision, you gotta look deep into the reflection looking back at you from the mirror and truly believe that, you are more than you can ever imagine. A mystery that  must be solved and revealed to the world, and most importantly to yourself.

Nobody is coming to save you, trust me on that and even if they come they can only help you or try to inspire you, the real saving has to be done by you. Only the best version of yourself can provide the best life for yourself and then for your loved ones, family, society and the world. A mediocre version of you cannot provide that and lets not even go to the lowest version of yourself. The quality of you, will reflect in all aspects of your life. The more refined you are the more refined your life will be. But before you even start to embark on any life changing journey you really have to look deep and ask the question why you want to do it the first place. It could be for wealth, power, fame or all the above or it could be for noble causes. If you ask me, I'll say it's for true freedom. I am a free man now, nobody has any influence or authority over me but yet I feel I'm not truly free, I'm not free from my emotions that sometimes arrests my true growth. Old programming that actually means nothing, but that has taken over my belief systems that cripple me from my true strengths. I wish to be truly free, and every-time I imagine this, I visualise myself driving a convertible and the wind rushing through my hair and I feel so free, and then I feel like I got wings and I can fly to any destination. I wish to sail through the turbulence of my emotions effortlessly being the bad ass that sails through the mountainous waves that try to engulf me, through the thickest of storms and the rain and the thunder that comes crashing from above me. I want to feel every emotion and receive it joyously and make my way to my dreams effortlesly. To feel all emotions but be free of it, so it doesn't cage me in my body but actually becomes my wings that sets me free.

Nobody is coming to save you, you can keeping waiting but the only thing that is going to happen is old age. To inspire you need to be the inspiration, and most times what we want is to inspire ourselves and look back at life and tell the old scared person we were "See, I told you so". What you truly wish is to astonish your own self and be able to look back in life with such amazment of your accomplishments. It is possible, it is so very possible I assuringly tell you, dream and just keep working on it. You are more than a lump of flesh with a name, you are magical in ways you are yet to understand. Why is it so easy for people to believe in God, when the only source of his existence comes from holy books. But you are so alive and happening now if you slapped yourself hard it would hurt right but yet believing in yourself seems impossible. Most of us put our complete faith in God, I'd say put it in yourself and then you'll start seeing and feeling what God truly is. Don't think I'm honeypotting you to believe some fantasy, no, I'm not saying its going to be a walk in the park, no it's not, but you are going to feel completely different about life and the challenges your going to face. You are going to feel truly alive in ways I cannot begin to describe. This is something everyone must experience, imagine the difference we all would make for ourselves, our families, our community, nation and then for the world. Our lives must have this ultimate aim for doing something for the world, cause without the planet being alive you wouldn't have the experience of life in the first place. We are the only intelligent life form in this planet, that can truly help this mother who has abundantly provided for us. Such compassion cannot come from a mindset that is trapped in a mind that doesn't even belong to itself but is just a mirror of all around him. A sheep that follows the flock mimicking the ones around them. I don't mean any disrespect but isn't it what it is.

Nobody is coming to save you but the hero that is trapped within you. You might think he is asleep but you're wrong he is the only reason you are still holding to that hope. All you need to do is give him permission to come forth from the bottom of your soul, help him out to win the fight from within and when he emerges he'll help you win in the physical world. We are all heroes, maybe you just don't know it yet, you ought to let go of that steering wheel you hold so tightly out of the fear that, if you let go you would crash. The steering wheel resembling the direction of your life and the fear symbolising you. If you could let go of the fear of who you truly can become, you would understand what I am truly trying to say. Most of us dream big things but the moment it begins to happens we cower and run, because you are afraid how you will handle it by yourself. Most times we are afraid of our own success, I know it sounds stupid but weirdly it is true. It is true because you do not want to leave your current comfort zone cause you think you might lose it and then you begin to control how your success should happen to you and not making any effort to get there. We sacrifice all what we can become, for comforts that are keeping us trapped in a tight space, not knowing that the space which we are defending so aggressively will only get bigger, only if you would have believed in your self and moved forward. We all have that hero within us dying to come out and steer our lives in the direction it should be truly heading, listen to his voice, because nobody is coming to save you, nobody can save you from yourself, but him, and only he can set you truly free.  

Lost Prayers On A Stormy Day

When the world's weighing you down and keeps you on the run.

When the dream seems so distant and the rum is all drunk.

While your searching for that break and you're falling out of grace.

Waiting for success's sweet embrace, that seems to be erased from your destiny and fate.

Knowing in your heart, your shit out of luck, and hoping that your life gets unstuck. 

Holding to that hope, afraid to let go, cursing the heavens while unpaid bills lie on the floor.

Your on your knees praying to the Gods for a miracle and saying please for some relief.

He's tested you once, he's tested you twice seems like he's been testing you all this time.

You have jumped through those hoops and crawled under the fires, you climbed the ropes and leapt over the trip wires.

Nothing you do seems to be enough and nothing you do seems to be right. 

All you are left with is self-doubt and judgement and advise.

Feeling like a lost prayer on a stormy day, feeling like a mistake and the heart's filling with dismay.

With Nobody tapping on your shoulder to tell you it's all right, with nobody close to keep you safe through the nights.

You quietly soldier through and come up with a fight.

In the midst of that almost defeat you will find your light.

The beast that you have awoken at this moment is beyond heavens might.

For champions and heroes are born in this hour, when the guns are all pointed at him, and no army beside him to fight.

He will not submit, nor accept defeat, rob him of his luck but his will, you cannot beat.

If the heavens stop him and to the heavens he'll march.

Defeat is the last thing he'll taste or to hell he'll plunge.

No God can kill a man who fears no death, no God can defeat a man who inspires him against the odds he's played with. 

If your cause is true, and you're asking is just, He'd grant you your unwritten destiny to be written as you must. 

In that moment you have become his true creation, powerful in the image as he envisioned.

No prayers are lost and no stormy day last forever.

And all the riches of the heavens are for those who'd just last through that weather.

To all the good souls out there fighting their good fight, don't despair, you're not alone during your stormy times, take it slow and go with the flow and keep your head held high and I promise you'd do just fine. 

Letters To My Sister (Part-1)

 To my dearest sister,

I've been planning to write this for quite some time, but I just couldn't come around to writing it. The trouble wasn't in what to write but where to start, where do I start? How do I begin this? As I'm stalling to find a good beginning to this letter, my mind gets side tracked and I go into a deep introspection pondering  on a question. What do you mean to me? My first memory goes back to what our mother told me when we were children, She said "Vinu, do you know why your father and I decided to give you a sister?, and I asked why?" and she replied saying this " When we die and leave this earth, we wanted you to have someone you can call, your own, your own flesh and blood, so always love her and protect her". Though our stories were closely knit together as kids, life has taken us on different paths. As we are not only separated by vast lands and oceans, we have lost a lot of time since the moment our lives have started as adults. Predominately in most relationships it is not the vastness of the lands or the oceans separating individuals that kills the bond. It's the time spent in silence, time is a strange thing because you could be living right next to someone and yet feel like you're miles apart cause you don't have time to spend with this person or due to other personally problems. Time spent in this silence creates a dangerous distance irrespective of the physical distance between these individuals. But sometimes, something beautiful and powerful is forged in that silence, for its in the quiet moments that all bonds are tested. It's in the quiet moments the beauty of any bond is also revealed. It's in that quietness you see the truth through the illusions. While you are busy building your life and me building mine always remember this, don't let that silence and the ocean of time separating us fool you in anyway, trick you by any means to understanding it for abandonment or neglect. And finally when we get to spend all the time in the world, of what is left, let us not become strangers and drift away quietly becoming old people. Let me be not a fading memory after my death but a warm one that inspires, comforts, loves and liberates you to absolute freedom.

Me, being a self absorbed individual firmly rooted into my pursuits, not finding time at all for anyone is just the way I am. The pieces of this puzzle I'm trying to put together, I must admit, has got tedious and wasn't as simple and easy as I thought it would be and it is taking more time than I anticipated, but trust me, when every last piece falls in its place everything would make sense. Life is like this, you got to dream and go all out and make it happen.  Trust me when I tell you this, you have to go and conquer the world for yourself and feel deserving of it, nobody can do this for you not even me and the world isn't going to come to your door step saying, you are deserving. So don't wait, polish those shoes, sharpen those pencils and get going. And if you come back to me with problems and I don't support you it's because you should learn to fight your own battles, on your own, remember only small people have problems, winners have challenges. And I have always seen you as a champion, see that promise in yourself, aim for the stars, don't think, don't wait for anyone's permission just go and get it done. It's just like how you learnt to swim, once the fear is lost then everything will fall into its place. Live each day with purpose, a small step each day is more than sufficient. This is actual life happening to you now, this is it, you are actually living it, it is happening to you as you are reading this, think, as hard as you want, dream as deep as you can, on how you would like to live this life, what kind of a woman you want to be and then don't be afraid to take your chances. Live a life that makes your heart feel full with life, satisfaction and love each day, let it come bursting out of you, in full gusto and vitality. And if all you want to do is, is sit on a sofa and eat cakes it's fine for me but at least bake the cakes. 

Life is one endless journey with hundreds of journey's within, it's a series of processes wherein learning and growing as a person is a constant until the day you depart. Life becomes stagnant when you refuse to grow as a person, this growth is very essential for the overall wellbeing of yourself and the ones you nurture. Understand that even though you may have multiple roles in your life such as a mother, wife, daughter and so on, there is something else inside you that craves a life separate from all these roles. Nurturing that part of you is paramount, otherwise you will feel like, you have been reduced to just these labels and your identity is just restricted to these roles. These are just roles you play in your life but you are much bigger than this, the idea of you is beyond this labelling, so while you are on this voyage sailing through the tides of life, don't forget yourself but instead discover who you truly are and then be that person, built a true bond with your soul and encourage yourself to live a life guided from it. The majority of the people around you will project their fears and shower their negativity of life on you, pay no attention to the nay sayers, remember the world will always be the way you see it. And if its a beautiful world you seek then you need to feel the same way within you. But don't be folly on your judgement of the real world, accept it for what it is, but always seek only the beauty in it, but also by acknowledging the darkness it bears. Celebrate every moment on this planet, because while you are on your death bed and just before the moment you are about to leave this life, nothing else would matter other than the way you lived your life. So live it to its fullest, try and fail if you must but always try, and while you're trying and failing in life don't give up cause victory could have been right about the corner of that disappointment. Be relentless in your pursuits and enjoy both failure and success equally, and embrace the process of each journey you take, and take it one day at a time.

I want you to know in those quiet moments, sad moments, hard moments and specially the painful moments that I am always with you. Cheering you, knowing with full confidence that you will make it. You are a tough woman with endless potential. Don't let the man's world scare you nor make you feel small. I know the challenges of being a woman who is a mother and a working lady is not easy, I know the harshness of this world could be intimidating at times, I know the world might seem like a very selfish place where you feel robbed of all your efforts. Don't worry in these moments be patient and kind to yourself as these are minor setbacks you will face along the way. One day when you make it, you will thank these challenges for it made a stronger woman out of you. Be silent and graceful during the dark times for it is in this phase you will really built yourself and discover your purpose or true self. And never ever bear any doubt about yourself, there isn't anyone on this planet who went ahead and achieved whatever they achieved by knowing it all before getting it done. Don't fear that unknown and unfamiliar space as we are all learning through the experience and the knowledge is received only after experiencing it. Never think you are alone, remember that, it is in these moments I'm with you more than you know it. This life is a beautiful journey and I want you to trust in yours, believe in it, in every heart beat and every breath you take. For as long as there is life in you, there is also the promise of you awaiting to be experienced. I know life hasn't been very kind for you at the start but then if you're up to changing it your happy ending is just around the corner. I can only defend you against the world but I can't defend you against your own mind. That space between your temples keep them calm and happy, be the cool one in the head and the one with the fiery heart. Most importantly, you are enough for me as you are, you are perfect just as you are, so don't let anybody else make you believe that, in any other way. 

What do you mean to me? The question still lies, but I guess I'll stop here for now and tell you some other time. 

Where Are You Taking Me

 Have you ever wondered where your life is headed to, have you ever stopped and asked yourself, "Where am I going" or "Where are you taking me". Funny when I put it like that,  " Where are you taking me", because it's like you are asking someone else within you. When you look back on life from this moment to the very beginning, as far as you can remember think about all the choices you have made, and think about the journey that unfolded due to these series of endless choices, which you have taken and will continue to take until death. Think about the faces of people who have come and stayed and the ones who left and the ones you lost. Think about all the moments that build you up to this moment, the people who have influenced you, maybe hurt you, the ones that loved you and the ones that set you free. Think about all the happy moments and the sad ones, the highs and the lows and the mind blowing moments or events that shaped your life until this moment, and then ask the question. And think, Does it make any sense? or was it just life happening to you. Were you the one who made all the choices on your own or were you influenced or advised to make them, was it really your life? Was it really your idea all along? or were you just following the masses or what your parents told, or just drifting through life hoping for a miracle. Irrespective of all this yet ask the question. Cause asking this question repeatedly to yourself, you will reveal the things that truly matter to you. You will stop reacting to life and will start setting a course of action to only what matters to you.

The long drives, the late nightcap, the dinner and movies, the day you became a father, the day you lost your father, the day got a raise, the day you were let go. The day you lost your favourite something and the day you found your favourite something thinking you will never find it again, the random stranger with whom you had an awesome conversation, the random stranger who you fought with at the traffic signal, the boss you loved, the boss you hated, the best friend you had who turned out to be a complete mistake or the best friends who still sticks by you after all these years. The day you lost your passion, the day you found it, your first love, your only love, the one that got away, the one who was finally meant to be, the day you found peace, the day you lost it, the tired days and the days wherein you were full of life, rainy days, hot days, colds days and the boring days. The crush, the enemy, things that you hate and the things that you love. How you turned out to be like, was it like you said to yourself as a child, or did the opposite of what you said happen. The retirement plan, the saving account, children's college fund and the holiday planned. The wedding day the funeral day, your children's wedding way, the birth of their children, the moment you become an uncle, grandfather, the moment you're a widower, depressed and lost, happy and found. 

So many experiences come into our lives, some shape us, some teach us to let go, some we enjoy and some scares us. Is this all life is, were we meant to just live to please our senses or understand life through these emotions and die one day. Gosh if it is so, it is awfully boring, cause I think one day we are all going to get tired of it all, and then most of us will only wait for death. There must be another way to life, or living. There must be more, and sometimes I feel it deep inside me, when the boredom sets in once in a while, and then I wonder how long will I keep distracting my self with all these things, I feel it in my bones that, there is so much more to life than what ever this is. I wish I knew what it was, something that's all I can think about. It like a very quiet voice calling out to me. Whispering in my sleep as I ignore it when I am awake, an answer to everything that's going to bring meaning to all this physical experiences in my reality. Something that is going to unveil the illusion of life and give me a sense of satisfaction of who I am or what I am, without this relentless need to accumulate processions and gain importance amongst people. Something that is going to give  me permanent peace and which tells me that I am enough with or without all the insane dreams that I hold. Something that tells me that I am more than enough as I am, right here and right now and there is no need to keep looking for something or someone to come fulfil me. 

Where are you taking me, I asked myself, I've asked this question, when I was having fun on an adventurous day, I've asked this question, while I sat alone at the corner of the pub drinking alone by myself, on a lonely day, I've asked this question while I sat at the center of a group of friends feeling on top of the world, I have asked this question when I was depressed and low, I have asked this question when I achieved something I dreamed off and I've asked this question when I turned 30 years of age, wondering when my life was going to turn around. I have asked this question when I got tired of my job, I've asked this question yesterday before I lay my head on the pillow. This dreamy journey that I'm on now a days is exciting in ways I cannot describe, cause each time I asked the question I always wanted to do something more wild, something that makes me feel more free and alive, and by doing this for the past few years I began to rediscover myself. I rediscovered myself in a completely different light, and I turned out to be a completely different person and more than half the things I did as my old me felt like it wasn't who I truly were, I was just a conditioned self of an imitation, of what other people wanted, mannerisms  that were either enforced in me in the form of discipline when I was young or bad habits or patterns that were picked up along the way. The most important thing, the question gave me was the freedom to be truly me and live a life that I truly wish without having to seek no other's permission but my own. So every time I wake up I ask my myself " Where are you taking me" and immediately I see the next adventure I must venture into, walking into the unknown excited, thrilled and exhilarated. 

Uninspired

People say life is short, so spend you're time wisely. But life is predominantly filled with grey areas wherein you are either waiting for something to happen or your forcefully trying to make it happen. It is filled with the drama, drama of others that you're involved with or your own. It's filled with the same actions trying to bring a different result or you are constantly evolving hoping for the creme de brulee, the sweetest time of your life. Life seems to be a series of transitions we ought to take but the majority of us fail to take that leap. Stuck in familiar patterns fearing the unknown that awaits us, we stick to the familiar identity we have created through our time here on this planet. Sometimes, time can be the biggest and most cruel thing that is happening, when efforts have been made for change but nothing seems to happen. For some of us it could be the opposite, cause your busy living it, lost in its wonder hoping and creating more, living a happy life. This form of happiness seems so hard to find in a consistent basis because for some of us, there is a part of themselves that seeks to grow and expand and accomplish more in life, but nothing seems to happen. The majority of time we have in our hands are wasted, because most of the time we don't know what to do with it. Most of the time we are just drifting in the wind like a piece of paper, hoping that it takes us on this miraculous thrilling journey and when it doesn't, a quiet space builds within us that eventually grows into a void you don't know what to fill it with.

The worst part of time is when you have completely detached from the world, wherein you feel, you don't seem to fit in it anymore, nor feel any sort of amusement in its mundane routines. The Monday blues hit you hard as you dread to turn up for that job your doing just to survive, a part of you dies each time you choose to live this cycle so you can survive another month, secretly hoping a miracle would happen to turn all this greyish ickish feeling around. But some of us thrive in this reality and I look at them and wonder, and think to myself, How are they doing this? It isn't that you're unhappy completely, but a strange sense of something is missing, kind of feeling whelms you up. The spark of life is missing and nothing what you're doing right now, seems to add value to your life and hence you're quietly dying. The oomph factor doesn't seems to be there, you don't feel like your top of the world, but sinking in the rut of this normalcy which is draining away the excitement, you wish to posess at this point. I wonder, how many of you are out there, who feel so. Who wake up everything day, as long as they could remember feeling, there has to be more to life than this? It can't be just this? It's boring and the frustration of being stuck in this space is suffocating. Hidden emotions keep visiting you, that makes you feel that you want to fly or run away to this mysterious place that is going to fulfil your soul. But where is this place? I don't think its out there cause no matter where you run to your mind and your emotions will stay the same, maybe an initial excitement will fool you to believe you have reached this mysterious place but when it comes back to living each day again and again you will fall back right where you started.

It is the uninspired part of you that seeks awakening, the part that you have been ignoring and not listening to cause its asking you to do things that frightens you. It's uninspired not because it is uninspired, but because you refuse to take the inspiration from it and take a risk to taste the life you're craving. It frightens you because you have to move away from your familiar self and do things that are unfamiliar to you. Like believing in yourself and following your own path, creating your own success and using your own hidden gifts. Instead of listening to this voice, we cower into out familiar selfs reducing our lives to mediocrity and end up cursing everything around us. The greatest gifts and treasures you seek will away be found only in yourself, it would be out of this gift, that you will be able to truly transform your life. Yes, it would be scary at first but in the long run it would be worth it. Waiting until you're ready is a waste of time as you were born ready to use this gift. We all have one, and we all know what it is and what to do and some of us don't even realise it, because we are so much in denial and paralysed to make that bold move and instead fall into our old patterns out of the fear of facing the fear that's arresting your progress. And the best part of fear is, once you are prepared to face it, it disappears, all it takes is to face it, and it takes just a moment for you to overcome it cause on the other side of that fear lies so much more of the life your have been dreaming about. 

It's your fear that keeps you uninspired, that traps you and chokes you out, to prevent you into venturing and seeking the life you were born to live. The worst part is, nobody understands, the fear they have wasn't even theirs in the first place but what was picked up along the way in their lives from the people they interacted with. People will always ridicule your dreams or the way you chose to live, but, it is by taking up that challenge that changes everything in your life. It is by being that person, you will transform  into the butterfly, so stop hiding in the cocoon of fears and lies that you carry inside yourself, release them and break free and be liberated from them. Draw the first and most powerful fresh breath of air and let it fill your lungs into the true version of who you truly were meant to be in the first place. Shed the beliefs and emotions that no longer serve your purpose and step into the reality of your dreams. Step into the possibility that you can shake and be free of all previous illusions of your self and believe that even if you were that paper bag drifting randomly in the wind at one time, can reach its destination, where it wishes to be. Your inspiration is right there in your uninspired self, waiting to takes it chance to live again, wild and free, full of life thriving and flourishing in its grandest form. So let the uninspired be inspired, and let the inspired, inspire others. 

Purple Haze

Sitting on the backseat of my friend's car, looking out the window with my head against the glass.

Smoke filling up in the back, while we were smoking on that magical green spliff listening to tracks.

This mysterious plant with its magical chemical reactions, dissected straight through all my interfering  distractions. 

It sends me directly into a dream state, things that I see here is hard to explain.

Smoked up to the point we are all choked, huffing and puffing on that doobie smoke.

Sudden came a plan, we ought to go clubbing, let's go to Purple Haze's one said, and the engine started roaring.

Sitting in that smoke box now beginning to move, music began playing and my mind was set to the mood.

Street lights were flashing, tail lights were glaring, faces started blurring and speech started slurring felt like everything was moving in a circle.

With all inner inhibitions set free, Purple Haze was the place we were headed indeed.

My head still against the glass, I watched the world before me pass.

Felt like I was travelling at the speed of light, not knowing the state we would end up that night.

 Free like the wind, I was everywhere, here and there, and free without any sense of care.

What if, we are all just an imagination of God I thought, a creation doomed to believe its supreme, so it's  trapped in that illusion, foolishly living at the ego's cost.

What if the ego was the trap, that kept us from knowing that we are all just creations in this simulation perhaps.

What if God was a kid, and we were his lego pieces he played with.

While he constructed our universe, along with you and me and all the diseases. 

What if we were just characters in his video game.

While he kept pushing the button and we just played to his game.

Why do we feel we are so real, when real itself is an illusion, and why is it such a big deal. 

Lets ask them scientist in their labs, while they are testing on them poor lab rats.

What are we, let's ask them to find, trust me, they got no clue, cause you cannot understand life by dissecting the divine.

And if Charles Darwin was right, then would that make the Garden of Eden a lie?

I wonder what is right, science or religion, or are they all riddles in disguise. 

Absorbed in our own lives controlled by the wives, breeding like rabbits and finally dying like swine's.  

The truth about us seems lost, maybe it's coded in our DNA but the password we forgot.

Religion asks us to pray, parents asks us to behave, stuck in a world that is crazy on social status, that money is what we chase.

Like sheep we are sent to study in schools, so we'd pick a profession and eventual toil like fools.

The white man has come to enlighten us all, work in our corporations and earn giant rewards.

They got us hooked like crack addicts, they got us dancing to their music while they sell their bullshit.

Oh, you should have this, this giant house, how about  a sports car that matches your wife's blouse.

Don't you worry I got you covered, here's your bank loan with just a tiny interest. 

This is the dream you ought to live, I stand for the free world now work hard and toil for that shit.

The meaning of life has been reduced, apparently owning stuff and being famous is  the only way to be alive and amused.

What happened to us, where did we go wrong, because being modern is fitting into this group who's lost in their phones.

This is not free will, it is a lie, we are all being controlled by that tiny device keeping us hypnotized. 

The sad part is we no longer know, who we truly are and what we truly know.

Trickery like magic they have achieved, while they control us through their advertisements projected out on the screens.  

Puffing on that joint, being relieved from all that noise, I ponder on the wonder to go with the thunder of my true voice.

Lightening flashes, rain drops splashes, drums beat bashes, one day we all would die and be turned to ashes.

I guess we ought to do whatever we want in life, I guess we ought to do whatever that makes us feel alive.

A life, full of life, is the life we dream about, and that life, is a life that's best lived only from the space of love.

A place where you're merged to everything, and not separated by the greed, the power, the hate, and the misery they achieved to keep us in.

God, where are you, why don't your send you son again, I know your up there and your kingdom is on fire and I'm on the run again.

My faith is faltering and I'm beginning to believe, maybe you too are a lie created by false Gods sitting under trees.

Oh, it looks like my time here is ended, I feel the planet needs more stars among us to awaken.

It needs your protection from your own kind, Because only homo sapiens are blessed with the gift to destroy life.

There are no lions or elephants killing our planet, let see for how long we would tolerate all this madness.

For I feel awake as awakened could be, looking at all this chaos unfold before me, I'm just a lonely star shining my lonely light, hoping that it would awaken a billion minds.

Until then you know where I'll be, I'll be in Purple Haze sipping cold beers and smoking the buddha chasing dreams.